2012 Baddest Bowl Pick 'Em Ever

Well, folks, it's that time of year again.  There's a nip in the air; you haphazardly draped some lights around those shrubs in your front yard; you have a few unwelcome pounds that have found their way to your waistline--thanks to too much turkey, Stolichnaya, and bad genetics.

Hopefully, your Elf on the Shelf has made his or her way out of the crawl space and back into your family's life.  I think this year I'm gonna have to grab Mrs. Claus and Blitzen to conduct an intervention for our elf, Chippy.  Yesterday, I found him under the kitchen table with two topless Barbie dolls.  He had broken into my stash of Glenlivet mini-bottles.  You know, the kind of bottles you slip in your pocket just before a parent/teacher conference.  He had clearly been in my nightstand (one can only presume he was looking for a one-hitter). 

I gave Chippy a little slap on the wrist and put him back on the mantle.  I had hoped he would spend the night looking at our Christmas tree and remember that he had responsibilities--that a 6-year old looked up to him as Santa's messenger.  Nevertheless, he got after it again the next night.  I found him in the toy closet on the game shelf.  He was shooting dice with my Bo Jackson bobblehead doll.  He and Bo had chopped up some ibuprofens and polished off my Coronas (no limes).  I thought, "Santa's gonna be PISSED."  I gotta do something.

We're about to go off the fiscal cliff.  Some Royals fan just won the Powerball.  Our elf is approaching rock bottom.  Just then I remembered that the BCS Selection Special was tonight. "That's it!" I thought.  Chippy just needs something to occupy his time.  Being one of Santa's elves is a thankless job.  What better way to celebrate the birth of Christ and the passing of another year than with some good, old fashioned gambling against total strangers? 

I see an immediate change in Chippy's demeanor.  He's been trying to get me to give him some insight on Tulsa in the Liberty Bowl.  He was texting Charlie Weis to get some feedback on Iowa State's 3rd down defense.  I like what I see out of Chippy since I invited him to the Baddest Bowl Pick 'Em Ever.  When Chippy heard of Rick Majerus' passing, I thought it was going to be enough to completely send him over the edge.  He thought Majerus was the dad from "Just the Ten of Us". 

Anyhow, I digress.  Bowl Pick 'Em is back...